The Power of Letters of Appreciation

Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “Consider the Power of Letters of Appreciation is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. The article contains a thought process that can change and improve the world. I ask that you read it, embrace it, and share it with your peers so you can be a part of the power of the Letters of Appreciation movement I'm creating.


Two things helped lead me to realize how powerful this can be for every person’s life. I’ve framed it around the lessons I learned reading a book about people that were told they only had one month to live and studying lessons I learned from recently watching "Nightline" interview tapes of Morrie Schwartz and recently attending the play “Tuesdays with Morrie.” As I thought about the benefits of telling others we appreciate them and backing that appreciation up with an explanation, I realized that every person on this earth could benefit if “Letters of Appreciation” was their greatest super-power.

I’ve developed a framework for you to utilize that’s so simple you won’t have any excuse not to immediately enjoy all the benefits that embracing “Letters of Appreciation” will have for your life. Read this and take immediate action. Your action may be in the form of a letter, card, email or a really long text message. Please note that it doesn’t work well over the phone nor in person because emotions will get in the way of the message.

Questions that need to be answered prior to writing:

  1. Who is the intended recipient? Prior to writing to them, take some time to think deeply about how your life’s plan included this individual in your life. Don’t rush this part. Instead pause, embrace and enjoy.

  2. How did you meet? Is there a story or an individual behind your paths crossing at some point?

  3. How have they impacted your life? What specific area(s) of your life have they directly impacted? It could be a family, friend, co-worker, neighbor, community member, financial life, health, faith life, education, mentor, self-esteem, physical health, etc.

  4. What specific memories support the role they have played in your life? What memories of them bring you the most joy? Which memories of them had the most impact?

  5. Why are they important to your life? People really appreciate when they know the why behind any statement and it’s rare that they have an opportunity to clearly understand.

  6. What words best express your gratitude for the role they’ve played in your life?

  7. What words best express the respect and appreciation you have for how they live their life?

  8. What would you say if this letter were to be the last opportunity you’ll ever have to say what’s in your heart to them? This is important. We never know when our last conversation will be with any of the people we appreciate. Many people leave this world suddenly and it’s only then that we think back to the last words we spoke to them. It’s why I’m so liberal in using the words “I love and appreciate you” with nearly every parting interaction I have. Treat every Letter of Appreciation that you write as if it will be the last opportunity you’ll be given. Remember, as time goes on you can always write another Letter of Appreciation to the same person, in fact, several more if fate allows.

The beginning of the letter gives us an opportunity right out of the gate to express gratitude for someone who’s had a significant impact on your life. Your first few sentences can wish them peace, hope, love, appreciation and grace. Even though we don’t normally begin a letter using those words, it’s a wonderful way to grab the recipient’s attention letting them know that this letter is special. Plus, it’s therapeutic for you to begin this way. It’s why so many different cultures in the world have a phrase similar to “Peace be with you.” This could then shift into the reason that you’re writing – so the recipient knows clearly and precisely how much you appreciate them. It might sound something like: "It will bring me great joy that you know exactly how much I appreciate you and why you’re so important to the (specific area) of my life."

The body of the letter follows the flow of the answers to questions above. It will be different for each person you write to because the impact they’ve had on your life is unique to only them. The body of the letter allows you to personalize your words to all the things each individual has meant to your life. It’s the perfect opportunity to go deep in the topic. Your words will move the recipient emotionally and allow them to experience the joy of having made a difference in someone else’s life. As they read your words, they will experience a lot of internal healing natural chemistry produced by those positive emotions.

The close of the letter is reflected by the statement “I feel it’s important that you know how much I appreciate you playing an important role in who I am, what I stand for and all of the joy we have shared together. Thank you!”

Just follow a similar pattern like when you gave your first speech in middle school: Tell them you appreciate them (beginning). Tell them why you appreciate them (body). Tell them you appreciate them (close). When you write from the heart, things like grammar, punctuation and spelling don’t mean beans if it’s an actual reflection of who you are. The recipient will respect that. And remember, your Letter of Appreciation is something they will read several times, and then keep in a special place so they can pull it out at a time when they may need the healing power of love contained in the letter. Appreciation and love are just that way.

I won’t accept any excuse that may prevent you from writing your first Letter of Appreciation. Just make the attempt. It shouldn’t be perfect, just heartfelt. And when you finish writing your first Letter of Appreciation and experience the joy that comes from writing it, and the anticipation of the recipient who will soon read it, then you’ll never miss out on the natural and long lasting high the experience creates that is unmatched by any form of drugs or alcohol. Be prepared to receive some sort of response in the form of an email, phone call, text message, or even a return Letter of Appreciation from the recipient to you. You may want to have some tissue handy to absorb all the joyful tears you’ll both share.

Frankly, there’s never been a better time for this “Letters of Appreciation” movement to go viral. But I need your help. We’re all exposed to so much doggone hate and anger from a multitude of sources. If you’d like to experience the opposite of hate and anger, start right now writing your first Letter of Appreciation and let me know how it made you feel. You can reach me at coach@theanswerdiscovery.com. Then share this with people you appreciate and love on all of your social media, and remember three important things: I believe in youI love you. I appreciate you! GiddyUp!

In addition to being a nationally syndicated columnist, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.

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