Take CHARGE of your circumstances…then BLOOM!
When our oldest son began his junior year of high school, my wife and I were paying really close attention to the “college being the next journey in life following high school” strategies we witnessed other families executing. We had begun discussions with our son about whether college was the right choice for him, and if so, where he dreamed of going to college along with why those choices might be a good fit. Observing the strategies of others would provide us with many valuable lessons in the development of our own, both good and bad.
One of the things we picked up on quickly was the pressure that juniors and seniors placed on themselves, and in some cases had forced on them by well-meaning parents, to be accepted by the school they had selected as their perfect choice dream school. As the seniors went about the application process, with the highest emphasis being placed on test scores and GPA, it appeared that receiving a firm "no" was, in some cases, easier to accept and overcome than this thing called a deferment. The dictionary defines deferment as putting off or to postpone. It seemed like students defined it with: You’re not worthy of acceptance here right out of the gate, but after the dust settles and we see how things look, we may give you a second consideration, so don’t commit to anywhere else until we give you a final yay or nay. Now that’s Stress with a capital S. What to do?
As we were observing the “acceptance to specific schools” game play out for seniors, we were filled with compassion and saddened at many of the reactions we witnessed. Someone being declined by the school they had always dreamed of going to could be a crushing blow to them at a time in their life when it could potentially have long-term negative effects with self-confidence and self-esteem. Deferments only seemed to heighten the anxiety. Some students had mapped out their future educational life and the type of job they desired that an education at a particular school would most likely produce and provide. Being declined, or even deferred, turned out to be a total life disrupter of their dreams. How does someone recover from that?
It was January of our oldest son's junior year when I happened to be having a conversation with the principal of the school. Where to go to college crept into our conversation and she shared with me her concern about the seniors who hadn’t been accepted at their first-choice university and how some of them were processing this perceived rebuke. I asked what advice she offered that group and that’s when she said it: "Bloom where you’re planted." I immediately recognized that I had just heard something profound. She further shared that she would help the kids understand that every single institution of higher learning had students that were succeeding and students that were failing. That included a place like Harvard and each and every community college. What mattered most, regardless of where you ended up (even if it wasn’t college), was that you did your best in whichever environment you found yourself in.
This thought process would become the foundation of our strategy for seeking the best fit for a college choice for all our kids. It would also turn out to be an incredible strategy that would become a permanent part of our family’s “Tool Kit for Life” when we realized that it applied to every area of our life. Whatever situation you find yourself in life, get busy making the best of it.
I recently saw a plaque that said "Enjoy your life! Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” You might also be familiar with “Let me change the things I can, accept the things I can’t, and have the wisdom to know the difference.” Both sayings fit well with a Bloom Where You’re Planted strategy.
Seems like, especially now, we all find it easy to beat ourselves up if we don’t “over-achieve” at everything we attempt in life, be it at work, at home or with relationships. Could the answer really be as simple as developing a Bloom Where You’re Planted mentality? It would mean accepting that whatever situation you find yourself in, even if it’s a full-blown crisis, you simply do your best. Accepting that you did your best and bloomed to your greatest ability is what brings consistent joy in all of our lives.
I’m so grateful that the high school principal shared the Bloom Where You’re Planted strategy with me that day. I’ve tested its effectiveness for over eight years and am happy to report it works every single time it’s utilized. You won’t need to test it. You can engage it in every area of your life beginning today. So get busy and wherever you find yourself in life…bloom! GiddyUp!