It’s Not what Happens to You in Life.
You may have heard the old saying: It’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you respond that matters most. Isn’t it amazing how easy that saying is to mutter, but how challenging that saying is to live? Why? Maybe because when negative things occur, responding positively seems too hard. It might also require action on our part that we may not be mentally prepared, nor properly equipped, to take. Or maybe our life HAS provided us with the life tools, thought processes, and abilities necessary to overcome those challenges, or at least to minimize any negative impact from them, but we choose the simpler paths of “avoidance” or “just doing nothing.”
There are behavior experts that have written entire books based on the question; Do you REACT or RESPOND? People that REACT to something are consistently quick with their reaction without spending any time thinking it through. The thought process someone reacting utilizes usually starts out with a subliminal “Why ME?” being silently asked. While there are people that have concluded that asking ourselves the “Why ME?” question has no value whatsoever, I believe it does. The problem is that it has negative value and only offers a downhill path to crisis. It also can eat up an incredible amount of valuable time which can lead to missed opportunities for potential solutions. Think of all the times in your life that you’ve said something that you later regret having said. Words of regret always fall under the react category.
When I think of people I admire, each of them has provided evidence that they consistently RESPOND to every situation rather than react. An example? Watching videos of famous interviews taught me many lessons in responding vs. reacting. One person had mastered the use of the word “well” to buy just enough time for their brain to form a response rather than a reaction when asked any question. The person being interviewed knew the media would amplify their reply to the question. They also knew that they should respond with an answer that conveyed consistency in their way of thinking about the subject they were being asked about. If a reporter asked, “What challenges are causing the change in your industry?” their response would begin “Well…..” which was a strategic way of securing precious seconds as they prepared exactly what they wanted to respond with. Pure genius when it comes to responding vs. reacting.
Many people believe that we’re all placed in situations where we can’t afford the time to carefully think something through to render a response and that we’re forced to react. That’s just not something I can completely agree with and here’s why. If an individual wants to eliminate reacting and embrace responding in all situations, they need to develop responding as a consistent character trait ready to be utilized at a moment’s notice. Making responding an automatic response is done with consistent practice. That practice need not take a lot of time. A person could begin practicing by simply watching the nightly national news while carefully pondering each story presented, considering at least 2 different perspectives, and forming an opinion leading to a statement of response. People responding tend to maintain their composure and their blood pressure. People reacting tend to lose their composure and experience a sudden increase in their blood pressure, anger, and anxiety. Which is healthier?
You’d really be amazed at how quickly our brain can work when it needs to. The only time we can’t afford the time to carefully think something through is during an emergency. Might be while driving where we have to trust our instincts and immediately react, or possibly during a medical emergency. The point is, if we practice responding enough that it becomes second nature, we’re able to also improve the way we react in emergency situations. That’s comforting. We can maintain better control of our thinking in a tense situation.
So, how about you? Can you imagine how much better our world would be if everyone made an effort to increase responding and decrease reacting in every situation? How many arguments would never even occur? How much quicker would people come to agreement, even if the agreement was to respectfully disagree? All I’m really asking of you is to ponder how you currently process situations that cause you to either respond or react. What’s your current consistent go to? Would you like to gain more control over it? I’m attempting to nudge you into some practice that leads to improvement. After all, the winner in the end will be YOU! Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!