What would Friendship Training actually look like?
Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “What would Friendship Training actually look like?” is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. In this week's article, Paul shares insight into combating loneliness through friendship and how friendship training could significantly positively impact our society.
Why isn’t Friendship Training a hot topic of discussion in Washington right now? It should be one of the greatest pursuits of our politicians given today’s culture.
If you’re beginning to think I’m nuts, consider the following data. A Harvard report suggests that 36% of all Americans feel “serious loneliness.” The numbers included show 61% of young adults and 51% of young mothers are feeling that serious loneliness. Just think about how many OTHER lives are impacted by people suffering from loneliness.
I first became aware of the damage loneliness has on our society a decade ago when I was attending a disabilities conference and the speaker shared data showing loneliness killed more people each year than smoking. That caught my attention. Loneliness is one of the very top challenges that people with disabilities face in life. But the loneliness people with disabilities experience should have served as a warning sign for ALL of us long ago. It took the pandemic to bring the issue to the forefront and there it sits like a big elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. Except the health care industry. They’re talking about it because the costs associated with mental health issues that have loneliness at their core are skyrocketing.
I have such great respect and admiration for everyone within the mental health care industry. They experience successes every day. They’re working so hard to help others and I’m worried that they themselves may be feeling a little overwhelmed with our cultures current status. It can best be viewed through the lens of a supply and demand model. The pandemic brought a period of isolation, which cut people off from the life tools they previously used for loneliness including social interaction, interaction with others at work, friendship/relationship development, and consistent communication with family, friends, and co-workers.
We all just took this part of our life for granted prior to the pandemic. Unfortunately, the pandemic didn’t include any instruction manuals for maintaining our well-being and mental health. This resulted in a loss of our “personal community” that kept us going each day, an increase in personal loneliness, and a decline in our mental health. The supply side of the mental health professional community could never have been prepared for the onslaught of demand for their services that was produced in a very short period of time.
Is there no hope? One of the things I love most about this world we live in is that THERE’S ALWAYS HOPE! What might remove some pressure from the current demands on the mental health care industry is a thought process shift. The pandemic may have promoted an “everyone just needs to take care of themselves” attitude. What if we considered changing it to “everyone just needs to take care of each other” philosophy. As a society, could we have a significant positive impact on reducing the loneliness that currently exists and remove some of the demands we’ve placed on our mental health industry? Sure, and here’s where my friendship training comes into play.
Friendship training could begin when we’re young but currently lacks a curriculum, written rules, clear goals, and any kind of timeline. In fact, the actual goal isn’t to develop deep and long-lasting friendships, it’s to teach us how to “get along with others” which is designed to allow us to successfully function in an emotionless society. That may serve a lot of our needs in life but doesn’t prepare us for the trust, compassion, and caring love that becomes necessary for a successful friendship. The foundation of any friendship is built first upon trust. Being able to trust someone is a very powerful experience. Caring about a friend means having compassion for their needs and challenges along with a desire to help them when they need help. The caring love that results from true friendship becomes a source of consistent joy in our life. It offers a subliminal contentment that strengthens our ability to do great things in our life.
So, what would friendship training actually look like? It would begin by teaching everyone how powerful friendship can be. That it can eliminate loneliness and be an important tool utilized to improve our mental health and wellbeing. We need to teach that each of us has the power within us to be a friend and to have people want to be friends with us. We have genius mental health workers who could devise a curriculum, create simplistic written rules, and have goals associated with timelines. Eventually, maybe we could create and institute a “buddy system” where everyone in society was assigned to be friends with one other individual forever. What would our society look like if we did THAT?
Here’s where I need your help. Reach out to the people that represent you in Washington D.C., your state, and your local community. Tell them you want them to come up with some Friendship Training Legislation and be sure to explain WHY this can be such a powerful positive force for our current culture. Tell them it will reduce the more than 300 BILLION dollars in health care costs currently being spent on loneliness-based mental health issues. They’ll only act on this if they hear from enough people to garner their attention. If we collectively come together on this issue, we can bring change to the world. Please take action.
I’ve saved my most important request for last. It involves friendship self-training. I’d like you to go through a process of re-establishment. If you’re fortunate enough to have an elderly family member around that you haven’t spoken to in a while, call them right now. If there’s someone that’s been important to your life in the past that you’ve lost touch with, call them right now. Do you know someone in your community who’s facing a challenge? Call them out of the blue and let them talk. If you’re feeling lonely, set up a visit to an assisted living facility and ask the staff which individuals get the least visitors. Commit to spending some time with them to hear their story. EVERYONE has a story and every story has significance. Truth is, most people long for someone who will listen to them. Be a good listener. You don’t have to solve, you just need to listen with an open heart.
Remember, I believe in you and all you are capable of. I cheer for you and your potential each day. GiddyUp!
In addition to being a nationally syndicated columnist, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.