How to better manage your Personal Tipping Point.
Being on the playing field of life over the last two weeks, rather than observing from the stands, has provided me a huge gain in social understanding from an enhanced perspective. My perspective grew due to the new thought processes, ideas, and opinions I encountered at a couple of gatherings I attended. I’m inspired to share the power of this new perspective with all of you by writing about it today. My goal is that you’ll feel empowered to better manage your Personal Tipping Point. Yes, we all have a Personal Tipping Point on every subject there is, we just never think about it that way.
What I’ve recently learned is that we’ve all been trained to rush to wherever our tipping point is, which promotes poor listening skills and even worse immediate judgement strategies. All this then leading to poor communication and blatant misunderstanding. Back to the term “Personal Tipping Point.” I’m utilizing the term to define the exact point where a person comes to conclusion and makes a judgement. When an individual’s tipping point triggers, their listening and desire to understand another point of view immediately shuts down. All they end up doing is waiting (or interrupting) to refute, argue, defend, or self-promote. This approach yields a negative result every time. In case you missed it, let me emphasize the word EVERY in front of time in that last sentence. Negative results are simply a sad waste of everyone’s time. How can that be changed?
When I had the privilege of gathering with some community leaders around ways to improve communication in our community, we revisited some lessons learned from hearing Monica Guzman speak a month earlier. We paired off and asked each other to describe something that we had changed our mind about. The key to the exercise was defining what we had heard that inspired the change and how good listening skills provided the opportunity for the change. As the group shared the stories after we had completed the exercise, it became apparent that whenever someone changed their mind, they had resisted the impulse to make judgements of anything they were hearing while they were listening. That’s hard to do. And it was their open-mindedness that allowed them to expand and re-calibrate a previous belief.
As discussion about this mind changing exercise continued to flow, all I could think about was what our society would function like if we instituted a policy stating that everyone must embrace a “1-hour judgement delay” in every conversation that occurs. Think about that. Listening skills would skyrocket. So would compassion and understanding. Forced not to judge, we’d be able to consider other people’s point of view before triggering our tipping point and shutting them down. This would allow all kinds of opportunity for POSITIVE results to spew forth like a fountain before even allowing judgement to come up to the plate. This thought process grabbed me hook, line, and sinker and I realized that I needed to prove that I was on to something really powerful that could benefit all of society. So, I hatched a plan and engaged it.
Last night before writing this, I attended a community event panel discussion revolving around the role Art plays in our community, in our society, its historical role, and how it impacts individuals both producing it and simply enjoying it. Led by a moderator, the six panelists were involved in unique and separate forms of art. I promised myself that I wouldn’t judge any of the panelist’s nor what they said. All I can say is that I was amazed at what I experienced focusing on what each person was saying and how the art form they embraced had a profound effect on their life. While I couldn’t draw a teacup to save my life, I came to realize that my writing is form of art. So is photography, video production, and coaching an athletic team. Not allowing my “judgement tipping point” to engage allowed me to not only change my mind but to broaden my perspective. I now see each of the six panelists in a more favorable light than I did prior to hearing their stories. That’s a solid win.
When someone says “Really? You want to go there?” they’ve triggered their tipping point, judgement has already occurred, and they’re preparing for battle ensuring that both parties will lose in the end. Why? Because the opportunity to learn new information and ponder a perspective that’s different from yours is eliminated. So, I’m asking you, YES YOU, to give that 1-hour judgement delay thing I describe above a try next time you engage in a discussion with anyone. I can promise that YOU will become a better person just for trying it, and so will the person you’re engaging with. Then, when you prove me right (and you will), make the 1-hour judgement delay a permanent part of who you are. You’ll experience more consistent joy and lead a more fulfilling life. And frankly, YOU”RE WORTH IT! Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!