Can do, can’t do, can learn, can’t learn
Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “Can do, can’t do, can learn, can’t learn” is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. In this article, Paul offers guidance on how to start your "can-do" list and—from there—experience consistent joy and happiness using this “life tool” in your arsenal of success!
In many ways, it’s an incredible gift to be the parent of a child with disabilities.
Not everyone sees it, but it’s there for anyone with an open mind and the right perspective. Our society tends to focus on the disability (things someone can't do) rather than the abilities (all the things someone can do). Current culture also focuses on the things that people with disabilities can't learn rather than they things they can learn. This can do/can’t do/can learn/can’t learn concept applies to all people whether they have disabilities or not and begins at a very young age.
Here’s how I learned an extremely valuable lesson in life utilizing the foundation this concept is based on.
When I was board president for The Arc Michigan – an advocate organization for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities – I attended a disability seminar. There, I absorbed the message of the speaker, a person who found employment for people with disabilities. When interviewing clients and acquiring information that would help with successful placement with an employer, he would create a list of everything the person could do. He then utilized that list to match the skill sets with jobs local employers were attempting to fill.
For example, a young man with autism was a genius at repairing electronics. From cell phones to computers to televisions to small kitchen appliances, his production was double any of his co-workers. He was challenged by noise pollution and co-worker interaction, so the employer provided a quiet separate room for him to work in each day, creating a win/win/win. Customers appreciated the speed of having their item repaired, the employer increased her profitability and the worker made a great living doing something he was good at and loved to do.
That speaker got me thinking. Why don’t we all make a list of the things we can do and place a star next to the things we’re exceptionally good at. As a parent, it seems like you notice certain things your child is good at by the age of five and could start a list that would encourage further development.
If you’re a senior citizen, it’s tempting to focus on the things you can no longer do rather than on the things you still can. You feel limited rather than empowered. Focusing on what you can do opens up new opportunities to pursue new areas of interest.
Throughout life, success and accomplishment are influenced more by our ability to think than our physical limitations. Plus, my personal experience suggests that the way the brain of a person with down syndrome processes emotion with simplicity may be superior to the way the rest of us make situations difficult. There are so many lessons to learn from people who are ability challenged in specific areas that we aren’t. That’s why interaction with them is a gift.
Businesses that perform employee reviews often fall through the can do/can’t do trap door. They begin with telling an individual something they’re successful at (can do) and spend the rest of the time focused on the plethora of things they’re struggling with (can’t do) causing resentment and self-doubt. The cure is to recognize what an individual is really good at and re-create their job responsibilities focused on that rather than trying to mold them into the person you think they should be to match the job.
If someone is great at welding but struggles to keep their work area clean, telling them to spend more effort improving their housekeeping skills is a waste of everyone’s time. Let them increase their welding which maximizes their contribution to the greater good and find someone who’s great at helping them with the area cleanliness. This leads into the can learn, can’t learn thought process.
Music has always played a powerful role in my life. I've always wanted to play the piano and the guitar at a level that would allow me to immerse myself in the music I enjoy so much. Unfortunately, that's never going to happen! I just can’t learn to play at any level that surpasses mediocre. Having said that, I found out that I can learn to listen and enjoy music with a level of great expertise. The whole musical experience led me to creating a list of other things that I feel I can learn, given my unique set of skills and abilities, that bring me great joy.
Admitting that there are things that I would struggle to learn, regardless of how much time and effort I put into them, frees up a lot of mind space to focus on the things that consistently lead to wins in my life. The good news is that this thought process can work for everyone whether they are disabled, fully abled, or abled in some areas but not in others. The focus needs to be on the things a person can do and can learn. That’s the secret.
So, would you like to have some fun right now? Would you like to instantly feel better about yourself? Then get out a sheet of paper and start listing all the things you can do! Can you hula hoop, write in cursive, speak a foreign language, hike a three-mile trail, read, sing, pray, help others, cook, drive a vehicle, doodle, paint or rake leaves really well? Add them to your list. Are you good with numbers, visioning, data analysis, keeping a budget, shopping, driving a truck with a trailer attached, greeting people, filling shelves, baking, organizing, taking the lead, minioning, listening, playing a musical instrument, complimenting others, encouraging others, playing cards or board games, fixing bikes, basic tools, power tools, or juggling (math is involved). Add them to your list. I could find worthwhile employment for anyone in possession of this list. By now, you get the idea, but you need to take immediate action and progress one step further.
Begin with your initial "can do" list and add to it any time you think of things that you can do that you hadn’t recorded before. Purchase a three-ring binder, a set of three dividers and some sheet protectors. Set it up so after the first divider you have your list of things you can do. Over time this list will number in the hundreds (maybe even the thousands as you continually add to it). If you’re ever having a down day, yank this list out and ponder the incredible value of who you uniquely are. It’s really powerful.
The second divider will contain a list of things you can’t do currently but can learn to do if they become a high enough priority in your life. You should visit this list monthly to determine if your desire to learn a particular skill has changed.
The third divider is a list of things you can’t do and can’t learn. The key for success in the can’t do and can’t learn divider involves including an explanation of why pursuing it offers a very low return on investment of your time. This can lead to alternate solutions. An example is that I will never play a musical instrument at the level I desire, but after saving for years I purchased a player piano which brings me a similar type of joy.
If you will create this binder, it will become an important “life-tool” in your personal arsenal of success. So, stop reading and get busy with your initial list of things you can do. You can do it! Hey...I believe in you and you should believe in yourself. Create the "can do" list and experience how awesome you really are each time you look at it. GiddyUp!
In addition to being a nationally syndicated columnist, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.