How do you give thanks?
Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “How do you give thanks?” is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. In this article, Paul provides a path to finding lasting joy by successfully transferring the way you give thanks from your mind to your heart.
This column is an attempt to create great value in taking you out of your comfort zone. Why? Because the majority of us move from childhood to adulthood treating gratitude and thankfulness as a task that we get to check off upon completion without emotional involvement.
Here’s an example.
Me: How was your last Thanksgiving holiday?
You: Great! My flights were all on time (check), I spent time with my family (check), ate some traditional food (check), listened to Uncle Paul tell the same story five times (check) and was able to finish the report I was working on for work (check). Like I said, it was great!
Me: Define great.
You: What do you mean?
Me: Was it similar to the other holidays you traveled to be with family, like Christmas, New Year's, Easter and maybe Mother’s Day or Father’s Day?
You: Yeah, they were all great.
Me: Let’s grab some iced tea and sit a spell. I’m concerned you’re missing out on some of the best life has to offer all of us and I’d like to offer a perspective that can change your future regarding every area of your life.
If it was you I was sitting with, here’s what I’d share. In the early 2000s I was listening to a speaker’s presentation at a seminar. His name was Charles "Charlie" S. Stuart and he had recently released a book, “Essence Marketing.” This guy had played offensive line for a Division-1 football team and had a very large presence that was kind and intimidating at the same time. Part of his marketing expertise focused on the interaction customers had with people working the check-out process. He shared that his greatest personal frustration was when the last words spoken by the customer service representative (CSR) were “Have a good one.” He hated that and claimed it to be the most insensitive thing that could be said to a person that had just handed over currency supporting the cash-flow that a company needs to stay in business.
Most times Charlie would stop, look at the CSR and ask what they had meant by that. What did they mean by the word "one." Did it mean a good day, a good drive home, a good next meal? Charlie realized this strategy of stopping and asking what the person meant by saying “Have a good one” didn’t prevent it from being repeated to every person coming through that line after him, day after day. It was always the same. He also noticed that if the customer responded with anything, it was generally “You too” and off they went with the total interaction ending up being meaningless.
While researching for his book, he began asking anyone who said “Have a good one” if they were required to say that by the store they were working in. Oh boy, did that ever open up a can of worms! People would say “Yes! I’m required to tell people to 'Have a good one' or 'Have a nice day'" and they shared that they hated having to do it. When he asked if they really meant what they were saying, the majority admitted that they only said it because they had to.
At this point Charlie realized two things. First, it was a training issue that fell squarely on management's shoulders (and they were failing). Second, all these people spewing out the required words at the end of the transaction were missing a great gift that they could experience over and over each and every day.
When something is required of us it becomes a task that we crave checking off. But if we see things that we feel are forced requirements in our life as opportunities to experience thankfulness, gratitude, joy and love, then we eliminate the misinterpreted power that checking something off a task list has on us.
How would you feel if a CSR finished the transaction by saying “I really appreciate you choosing to shop with us today and giving us an opportunity to serve you. I sure hope you have a wonderful rest of the day.” A statement like that, offered sincerely, creates loyalty that no amount of marketing can buy. Yet the interactions we all experience these days nearly all fall into the “have a good one” category.
The truth is we all have complete control on the way we process thankfulness and gratitude. And success with understanding how both can add the greatest value to our life lies with moving every experience from our mind to our heart. When we do, we eliminate the necessity of the check. Thankfulness and gratitude don’t require being checked off; they add value – great value – to all that we experience.
Flight gets delayed? Be thankful you’re wealthy enough to utilize that form of travel and be sensitive to the other people on that same flight who are experiencing the same concerns as you.
Family member can’t make it this year? Be thankful for those that can.
Forgot to bring the report for work you wanted to finish over the holiday? Be thankful that you’re able to realize finishing that report isn’t what’s most important in life when you’re with people that love you.
Hearing Uncle Paul’s story five times? Be thankful it wasn’t six.
You can enter a whole new world of lasting joy when you successfully transfer the way you give thanks from your mind to your heart. Success comes from practice, and you’ll never have a better time than the upcoming holiday to take this out for a test drive…and then commit to making it a permanent perspective that will serve you beautifully the rest of your life. You can do this. Why? Because I believe in you! Now, GiddyUp!
In addition to being a nationally syndicated columnist, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.