I believe in you
This week’s syndicated column “I believe in you” is published in the following Michigan and Illinois newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News, The Edwardsville Intelligencer, Huron Daily Tribune, Jacksonville Journal-Courier, Manistee News Advocate, and Big Rapids Pioneer. The article focuses on mastering the power of believing in others and, when you do, how you'll experience great joy!
I believe in you. Those four words would play a pivotal role in my character development and the path of my life leading to where I am today. Today, I’m in a privileged place of joy in my life, and I’d like to share with you the role the words “I believe in you” have played in getting me there. It’s a story that will allow you to help other people achieve great success, which will in turn provide you with the consistent joy we all seek and cherish in our life.
Because I tend to live life with a lot of passion in all that I do, I tend to make more mistakes than the average person. This began at a young age for me, much to the frustration of my parents. Being the middle child of five, I suppose I craved attention more than my siblings and was always trying to be first in everything without regard to what was important. Example? Between the siblings, I was the first to get stitches, the first to break a bone, the first to have surgery performed and the youngest to get into an auto accident while driving. I was also the first (and only) to get sent down to the principle’s office for behavior issues. Throughout all of this, my parents never waivered in letting me know they believed in me. They’d try anything and everything to keep me from getting in trouble, somedays having better success than others, and would always remind me that they had high expectations of me and believed in me. Honestly? They may have uttered “I believe in you” through clenched teeth.
When I went through my middle school through college years, I began to understand the role that having people, other than my parents, believe in me could play. Because I didn’t want to ever lose someone’s belief in me that I had worked hard to acquire, it seemed to have a positive impact on the choices I was making.
As my career life took off, I began making better choices and at some point, realized that disappointing someone who believed in me destroyed my mental picture of who I wanted to be in this world. Some people may have seen this as a weakness, but I saw this as one of my super powers. Not wanting to disappoint others moved me towards being the person I had always dreamed of becoming.
When I said “I do” on our wedding day, it was the same as saying “I believe in you and always will” to my wife. I also silently made a pledge to myself that day, committing that all of my actions for the rest of my life would allow my wife to always be able to say “I believe in you.” This has played such a powerful role in the more than 27 years we’ve been married. It was near the time of our marriage that I reflected on how powerful having others believe in me was, and how I had been so focused on others believing in me that I hadn’t yet discovered the power of me believing in others.
As the “I believe in you” thought process grew in me, I began to experiment with keeping track of the behavior it improved in the lives of others. As my trial-and-error process further morphed, I realized that the actions I took with those people were more powerful than when I spoke the words. It’s one thing to say you believe in someone, but it’s better to prove it with evidence in every interaction you have with that person.
While I had a chance to try this with the people I interacted with on a regular basis, I received a big boost as our family grew to include four boys. I wanted to share that I believed in each of them, and always would. At that point, I could more clearly see just how powerful it was to have parents who always believed in me, regardless of how I lived my life. That doesn’t mean their wisdom didn’t continue to point out my mistakes deep into my adult life. It just means that what they meant by “I believe in you” was that they loved me unconditionally and that they appreciated me most when I had long stretches of time between my mistakes. By the time I got married, my mistakes had dwindled down to a small number. I continue to make mistakes to this very day. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m quick to apologize and make amends so I don’t risk losing someone’s trust and belief in me.
With the way the “I believe in you” mentality had served my life, I began to totally focus on how “me believing in others” could play a role in helping others achieve goals beyond what they thought they were capable of. All that most people need is someone believing in them to get off the fence they’ve been sitting on in life and to stop kicking all their cans down the road.
I came to realize that any joy created by our own personal success pales in comparison to witnessing the success of someone you believe in. I further realized that Zig Ziglar was right when he profoundly exclaimed “You can get everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want.” It appears that from birth to death, all someone needs to accomplish what they’re capable of is being believed in. What we offer to others on a daily basis, that they can believe in, is our personal character.
So, does your personal character offer others enough that they can believe in you? If you’re not sure, what changes could you make so people would be proud to tell others that they believe in you? Make a list of the character traits you see in others that would easily allow you to tell them that you believe in them. If you see character traits that you admire in others, over time those traits will naturally creep into your own life. Isn’t that awesome?
I can only change the world if I can have some help from each of you. I ask you to write down on a piece of paper five people who you admire that you can call, or speak directly to, and tell them “I believe in you.” Tell them that you can imagine them doing great things that will have a positive impact on the world. Be ready to enjoy their responses. Once you do this with your chosen five, begin to do this on a daily basis with your family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and yes, strangers that you encounter in everyday living. It works. Tell them each time you see them. Repeat it as often as possible.
I hope to have the words “Hey…I believe in you” on the back cover of the book “The Answer Discovery” that I’m getting really close to publishing. If by chance you feel that no one believes in you, you’re wrong. I believe in you and want to help you live the very best life you are destined to live. Now that you know someone believes in you, it’s time to GiddyUp!
In addition to being a syndicated columnist in the midwest, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.