Let’s try the ‘Heaven Solution’
This week’s syndicated column “Let’s try the Heaven Solution” is published in the following Michigan and Illinois newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News, The Edwardsville Intelligencer, Huron Daily Tribune, Jacksonville Journal-Courier, Manistee News Advocate, and Big Rapids Pioneer. This article focuses on how helping others can be the simplest form of helping ourselves, as it provides a pathway to living a "Heaven Here On Earth" lifestyle. I invite you to read my latest column, embrace the thought process put forth, and take action by putting it into use in your life.
I read an article recently that discussed the rising tension between parents and their co-workers who had no children. Working from home created a different environment for parents as they attempted to juggle a sudden lack of daycare offerings and their kids “schooling from home.”
Come that first summer in 2020, when school let out, parents attempted to find ways to keep their kids occupied and happy during what normally would have been “focused and devoted” work time. Dual incomers might have attempted tag-team tactics with what amounted to “zone defense” in an attempt to minimize the disruption being a parent was having on their work performance.
These additional parental responsibilities changed some as things began to open back up but didn’t come close to allowing the dedication to the job that parents had pre-COVID. So parents attempted to contribute the same productivity of work load over a longer span of time each day, fitting their contribution to the team during chunks of time that were the most convenient given their parenting responsibilities. This is what happened amidst a continuing evolution from the parents' side of the table.
Across the table sat the co-workers who had no children. When work from home was initiated, everyone accepted that it was critical for teams to function extremely well as everyone adapted to the new work environment. Not wanting COVID to be successful at spinning our lives out of control, workers exhibited patience, compassion for different lifestyles and an increased understanding of loneliness and how all of us have unique health challenges.
So we stepped up our game for each other – and it was truly amazing – for a while. Then the “survival of the fittest” crept into all of our minds and we began to look out for number one (or two, three, and four if you had kids). Pretty soon, parents began to request favors from their no-children co-workers thinking they would understand that parents had more responsibilities than someone without kids. As they exited an online meeting at 5:30 p.m. so they could pick their kids up from daycare that closed at 6 p.m., they requested that their no-children co-worker finish up the project they were jointly working on so it would be on their boss’s desk first thing in the morning. Fair? I think not. While parents may have hoped their co-workers wouldn’t notice the increased frequency of the ask, pretty soon those co-workers cried “Foul!” and wanted extra acknowledgement of their extra effort. It’s understandable. So, what to do?
All of this reminded me of a valuable fable that I heard at a conference years ago. The speaker wanted to humanize the difference between Heaven and Hell. She took us first to Hell where she described to us a five-foot-wide table that stretched as far as the eye could see. On either side of that table sat people across from each other, again, stretching into infinity. On top of that table were plates in front of each person loaded with the most bountiful feast one could imagine, but no one was eating. You see, each person’s right hand had been replaced with a three-foot fork and each persons left hand had been replaced with a three-foot spoon. While every person was incredibly hungry, they couldn’t bend at the elbow in a way that would allow them to use the fork and spoon to feed themselves. So, they all sat there with the saddest and most forlorn look on their face, stuck in Hell dying of hunger. I was near tears.
The speaker then transported our minds to Heaven where upon arriving we were overwhelmed by the joy and laughter that permeated our eyes and ears as we found ourselves looking at the same table we had seen in Hell, people sitting across from each other with the three-foot fork and spoon instead of hands, same exact bountiful feast, and every single person enjoying the experience of feeding the person across from them rather than attempting to feed themselves. Isn’t it funny how when we help others, in the end, we’re also helping ourselves?
Back to the co-worker dilemma. It appears that some of the work cultures have recently slipped into a state of Hell with resentment at the forefront of people’s willingness to support “the team.” Co-workers without kids ask why they always have to pick up the slack created by co-workers who chose to be parents. Parents ask why their co-workers with so much additional free time on their hands can’t put forth more effort and cover more of the shared responsibility. Everyone’s sitting with the saddest and most forlorn look on their face. Pure Hell.
But why couldn’t the parents recognize that their no-children co-workers have been going above and beyond allowing them to parent when necessary? Why couldn’t they find time in the flow of their work from home schedule to let their co-workers know that they appreciate the times they’ve been helped and would like to cover some additional responsibilities to bring more balance to the TEAM (Together Everyone Accomplishes More) and schedule additional time to even things out a little bit? Wouldn’t that precisely resemble the mental picture of Heaven created above? Well, sure it would!
The article I began this column with may have described a pressure-cooker with the lid about to blow sky-high. It doesn’t have to be that way. If Heaven and Hell are accurately described in the fable above, all of us prefer Heaven. All we have to do is focus on helping each other in a way that is equitable for all. So I’m asking you, whether a parent co-worker or a no-children co-worker, prove me right! Feed your teammate that’s sitting right across the table from you and help create a culture where your efforts are the water that allows all boats to rise together. GiddyUp!
In addition to being a syndicated columnist in the midwest, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.