The path to joy can be found every day
This week’s syndicated column “The path to joy can be found every day” is published in the following Michigan and Illinois newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News, The Edwardsville Intelligencer, Huron Daily Tribune, Jacksonville Journal-Courier, Manistee News Advocate, and Big Rapids Pioneer. This article focuses on my "never have a bad day" thought process—a journey from "that's impossible" to "I've got to pursue this in my life." All you need is an open mind and heart (and five minutes) to acquire the life tool I'm about to explain.
One of the favorite topics I present when I give speeches is my “Never have a bad day” thought process. I take people on a journey from “That’s impossible” to “I’ve got to pursue this in my life” if their mind and heart are open to perspective change. So, I’m about to share my own “journey to discovery” regarding this thought process, and you are worth the five minutes it’ll take you to read the rest of this article and acquire the “life tool” that I’m about to explain.
It began when I was still in college. People that came to know me would consistently remark that I always seemed “happy” or “up.” It was mentioned to me often enough that I began to think deeply about it. I had never explored why I was happy. When I did, I discovered that I was so averse to being “unhappy” that I had begun to make an unconscious attempt to be happy each day.
As the thought process began to take form, I began to divide occurrences each day into two groups: things that potentially made me unhappy, and things that potentially made me happy. It seemed simple at first. All I had to do was avoid everything that could make me unhappy and pursue everything that made me happy. Turns out, my strategy was a little too simple (and kind of immature), but it led me to the next step where I embraced the Zig Ziglar quote: “If you try and fail, congratulations! Most people won’t even try.”
In life we don’t have the luxury of avoiding things that potentially could make us unhappy. That’s not how life works. I came to realize that we can’t avoid things that can ruin our day, but we have complete and total control over how we mentally process those things. The ultimate goal isn’t to convert unhappiness to happiness. The ultimate goal is controlling unhappiness so it doesn’t dominate our thoughts, words and actions that day nor any day in the future. I devised a strategy that consistently works well for me and can for you too. I call it my “Good Day/Bad Day Life Tool.”
We all have bad days, right? But do we have to? When I was forming this life tool, I set a goal that I felt could be easily achieved. I would allow myself to have a one bad day per week, but only one. At this point it was imperative that I keep track of my results allowing me to prove whether I was onto something or not.
The first week was a huge success. All seven days were good days because I was conscious every moment attempting to make them so. But week two was much more challenging because old habits of the way we perceive, and process, daily happenings are difficult to break. Not impossible, just challenging. Working in sales, I had missed out on a sale I was sure I could count on and I let it obliterate the entire day, going to bed disappointed in myself and mad at the world. I allowed the bad to creep into the next day, thus having to mark two bad days in a row that second week.
Continuing this strategy made me realize that, by accepting the pain of having a bad day, it robbed me of the joy of having a good day. Does that mean that we should avoid all pain and only pursue joy each day? No. A person can’t avoid pain from popping up in their life. All a person can do is control the impact that pain has and not allow the pain to dominate the conclusions they come to. A person needs to teach themselves a strategy that best works for them, allowing them to process the pain in a way that allows them to be in control of the impact on their day and on their life. That takes practice. Lots of practice. But isn’t walking down a path that leads to joy every day worth the effort? The correct answer is yes!
As the formation of this Good Day/Bad Day Life Tool continued to take shape, I realized that managing the perspective I had on what occurred each day was critical for success. When a challenge to a good day popped up, my mind would travel down several paths until I found the path that allowed a perspective to realize that the challenge was intended to help me grow in a specific area of my life. Maybe the challenge helped me grow in my management of my relationships, my health, my financial stability, my family, my professional life, my spiritual life and the role I play in the community I live in. I transformed my thinking into converting every challenge into an opportunity to grow. Yes, even when I’ve received challenging a medical diagnosis like when I broke my neck.
As I was on my way to proving the Good Day/Bad Day Life Tool hypothesis, I realized that allowing one bad day per week actually meant 52 bad days per year. Was I nuts? No one wants to have 52 bad days each year. So, I moved it to allowing one bad day per month and began to notice in my tracking data that I had three consecutive months without having a single bad day. It was then that I realized the techniques I had developed, giving me control of how I processed challenges that occurred on a regular basis, could allow me to eliminate bad days altogether. That’s how the lessons I learned, and perspectives I developed, pursuing my Good Day/Bad Day theory became one of my primary life tools that I continue to utilize each day. And you can, too!
People continue to tell me that I’m always “happy” or “up” and they’re right. If they mention that they wish they could be like that, I tell them they can and ask them if they have five minutes. Then I tell them what you’ve just read and always finish by asking them to at least try. And that’s what I’m asking you to do today. Try giving this life tool a fair shake and never have a bad day. You’re worth it. Plus, I believe in you! Now GiddyUp!
In addition to being a syndicated columnist in the midwest, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.