In Life, Always Play To WIN!
Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “In Life, Always Play To WIN!” is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. In this week's article, Paul explains how winning takes more effort but offers significantly more rewards.
The best way I can explain this is to use the example of a high school basketball coach. This particular coach would win all the easy games but seldom could win the games that the team needed to win the most. It seemed like in every important game, the team could generate enough points to take a lead early on. As soon as they had the lead it’s like a switch was thrown and the coach had the team go into a strategy of “playing not to lose.” As soon as they embraced this strategy all the things that had led to them having the lead flew out the window. Each player was so afraid to make a mistake and get benched, they became cautious and stopped using the natural skills they had while losing all of the confidence they had while securing the lead. While my kids played for this coach, I never said a word to the coach about how frustrated his strategy made me. I have a belief that parents should be limited to positive comments only and should focus on loving the opportunity to watch their child participate regardless of who wins.
I’m a deep thinker and I found myself dissecting this whole “playing not to lose” strategy. As I did, some life lessons presented themselves to me and I saw it as an opportunity to grow. As I studied the basketball coach, I began to notice exactly when the shift went from “playing to win” to “playing not to lose.” It seemed like the message communicated to the players went from one of encouragement to one that emphasized “we’re in the lead so don’t screw it up.” Most high school kids haven’t been prepared to absorb and process that kind of pressure. It was always painful to witness the look of dejection on the faces of the players after losing a game they know they could have (and should have) won. It was those dejected look that inspired me to pursue this thought process even further.
In everyday situations, I began to notice what appeared to be people “playing not to lose” rather than “playing to win” and found that it made me sad. People that had good solid jobs approached each day hoping not to make a mistake that might get noticed resulting in a black mark in their employee file. Some just wanted to accomplish what they had been told to do and go home each day. That’s crazy when you consider that every human being has a set of skills unique to only them and in most cases have the POTENTIAL (with the right training, tools, and encouragement) to do 10 times whatever it is they do. Front line people are the ones that can suggest the best path to improvement, but they’re not always listened to. Which ends up many times promoting a “play not to lose” attitude. It’s really hard for someone to believe in themselves when they’re led to conclude that no one else believes in them. Companies with a culture built with employees who play not to lose don’t stand a chance competing against companies with a culture built with employees who play to win.
Often, I use the saying “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” and it plays true if you’re in a situation where you could take advantage of someone or treat someone poorly. But if I reverse engineer that saying (when it pertains to being the best person you can possibly be) it would read “just because you can, absolutely means you should.” Which suggests playing to win in every area of your life. There’s only one rule in playing to win and that is “never at the expense of someone else” but you already knew that because I believe in you and believe you know the difference between right and wrong.
You can really help yourself if you’ll pause for a few minutes and examine all the different areas of your life where you may be “playing not to lose” rather than “playing to win”. Could be in a relationship, financially, spiritually, at work, with responsibilities you have outside of work. Could be with your health (that’s a big one for most of us), with family members or friends. Strange, isn’t it? You’d like to win in every area of life but playing not to lose is certainly an easier path. Don’t go there. Winning takes more effort but offers significantly more rewards. Rewards that are part of your personal destiny taking you beyond a life filled with mediocrity to a life filled with consistent joy and happiness.
If you’re able to read this, that alone is proof that you’re smart. Being smart means you have the capacity to create, learn, and develop strategies that will have you on a path “playing to win” in every area of your life. So, get busy mapping out the winning strategy to joy and happiness for your life and remember to take time to celebrate the joy of winning in every area of your life. You’re worth it!! Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!
Paul White is a guest columnist and author. Purchase his life-changing book “The Answer Discovery – How to Change the World by Helping Others…and Ourselves” at http://bit.ly/PaulWhiteAmazon. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.