Why it’s so important to shed selfishness
Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “Why it’s so important to shed selfishness” is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. In this week's article, Paul shares his ideals for a beautiful new world — one where We determine how best to serve society from a mindset of selflessness rather than selfishness.
In many ways, we live in a goofy society.
When it comes to life, we all tend to narrow our focus to a few priorities and almost never step back and look at the big picture view of our life. Seems like a lot of big picture life viewing picks up after a person turns 50 or so, but at that point, it’s too late to institute change that the big picture view would have suggested when people were younger.
When we’re young and begin our K-12 education, there’s a sense of urgency created around the thought that our K-12 education is going to determine our level of success (at least financially) in life. This is where we begin to learn that being selfish is OK.
It’s impressed upon us that we need to accept the responsibility of learning and doing the best we can because this period of life systematically impacts long term status and earning power. The pressure that’s placed upon many is culpable for promoting selfishness in an attempt for high schoolers to get into the “right” college. Whether the focus is grade point average, entrance test scores, athletic ability, or artistic/musical talent, the focus is entirely on the individual and going after what’s obtainable and available. While that’s a really selfish approach, it’s one that is universally embraced because, in society’s mind we need to compete against each other to bring out the best in each individual. Kind of a “competition breeds success” mentality. Currently, this approach appears to be creating a mental health monster rather than the joy that was predicted from monetary success and social status. The dots never seem to connect from selfishness to long-term joy.
Long ago, I came to the conclusion that the pressure of selfishness peaks in college. It’s similar to our society cupping each student’s face in their hands to get their attention and shouting to them: Hello….your years spent in college are going to determine the rest of your life…how much money you’ll make, what kind of house you’ll live in, what kind of vehicle you’ll drive, the quality of the person you’ll end up marrying, and what type of parent you’ll be so the process can begin all over again.
SO JUST FOCUS ON YOURSELF, STAY FOCUSED ON YOURSELF, AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING YOU DO DURING THIS PERIOD OF YOUR LIFE CAN BENEFIT YOUR FUTURE IN A DIRECT WAY. DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF!
Ouch! Is that really the best path to creating an exceptional society where everyone is valued for their uniqueness rather than by measuring their personal performance in tightly defined personal successes?
The selfishness that our society promotes for us while attending college is hard to shed. I know this because I too fell into the trap. After college, I was in hot pursuit of what I thought was success in life. I became focused on chasing more income each year, pursuing home ownership, driving the fanciest vehicle, being at the forefront of fashion, and opening any door that was labeled ME ME ME.
Then, about seven years after college, my friend Thom came back home after spending 2 years as a Peace Corps volunteer over in Malawi Central Africa. At a welcome home gathering we had for him, we were all telling him about ourselves and our conquests. It wasn’t long before he stopped us and informed us that he was extremely disappointed in how we were living our lives. He had just returned from a way of life that was focused every day on obtaining clean water to drink and any kind of food to eat. He had spent two years living in a community that offered NONE of what we took for granted and yet he was able to find peace, joy, and comfort living a life based on selflessness. His final comment that night was that none of us “got it” and would never understand what’s really important in life.
Ouch! That hurt, but he was right…at least at that particular point in time.
After his Peace Corps experience, Thom obtained a master’s degree in Social Work and worked with abused children in the U.S. and United Kingdom. In 2013, he became a missionary in Moldova, a country that borders Ukraine. Over the past year he’s spent every day helping displaced Ukrainians obtain food and shelter. His adult life defines selflessness. Through the years I’ve utilized Thom to help me shed selfishness and experience the rich and rewarding life of selflessness. Have I mastered it? Are you kidding? No, I haven’t, but I’ve moved far away from the selfishness I was groomed for while growing up and I’ve found peace and joy in living a life focused on Zig Ziglar’s famous quote “You can get everything you want in life, if you’ll help enough other people get what they want.” That’s how I define selflessness.
What we need is a solution that can work for us all, whether we’re beginning our K-12 education, entering retirement, or somewhere in between, and I believe I’ve found it. A solution that instantly allows us to shed selfishness and embrace selflessness, which is where the greatest joy in life exists.
The solution is contained within an eight-minute speech given by Kirk Cousins contrasting privilege and entitlement. You can search Kirk Cousins Kickoff Luncheon Speech on YouTube or follow this link: bit.ly/3mhvgyI. It's worth eight short minutes of your life to find a source that will bring you joy the rest of your life. Please take the eight minutes to watch this video. Please.
I’ve come to believe that one additional solution exists. I’m not sure that I’ll witness it in my lifetime, but I’m convinced it would create the best version of a culture that has ever inhabited this earth. My dream is that the United States would require every individual graduating from high school to spend the 3 months following graduation volunteering in a third world country. This would have a positive impact on shaping each person’s mind for the rest of their life and they would give each person an opportunity to realize what a privileged life they’re able to live.
Your own thoughts? Comments? I’d sure love to hear them. Remember, watch that Kirk Cousins video. Know that I Believe in each and every one of you. Embrace Selflessness today and watch your life take off in a positive direction. GiddyUp!
In addition to being a nationally syndicated columnist, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.