Why the question "Where Ya From?" means more than you think it does
Paul White's nationally distributed syndicated column, “Why the question "Where Ya From?" means more than you think it does” is published in 22 publications across seven states. This includes the following newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News (MI), SFGate (CA), Seattle PI (WA), Connecticut Post (CT), Laredo Morning Times (TX), Huron Daily Tribune (MI), The Telegraph (IL), and more. In this week's article, Paul explores the question, "Where Ya From?" and dives deeply into its meaning — a thought process to understand who you're representing each time you engage with another person.
My oh my.
When I first heard that question in a presentation, I didn’t have any clue the impact it was about to have on my life and on all the people I’ve shared it with. That’s precisely why I’m sharing it with YOU today.
Those three words, in that particular order, are POWERFUL!
Here’s the story and how I interpreted the thought process.
I had a chance to listen to a man I greatly admire present to a local leadership class. Having heard him speak before, I knew I loved his presentation style which allowed me to absorb his message that day to it’s fullest. He was proving to the participants that everything they say and do matters not only to them, but that they represent many others with every action of engagement. He began by explaining that if someone new moves into a home across the street from you, and you go over to introduce yourself, INSTANTLY you represent all of the people that live in your home. When they ask “Where Ya From?” and you tell them the house across the street, they lock onto the location and begin to make mental notes. If you’re extremely nice, they’ll assume that ALL the people that live in your home are also nice. If you’re a jerk telling them they’d best keep their yard mowed to between 1 and 2 inches at all times if they want to live on your street, then ALL the people that live in your home will forever be considered jerks. For better or worse, at that first moment of introduction, YOU are representing your entire family to that person until death do you part.
He further explained that if you’re traveling around the state you live in, and someone asks you “Where Ya From?” then INSTANTLY you represent every other person in that community. If you’re nice (or a jerk) and you’re the only person they’ve ever met from that community, then they will naturally assume that every other member of that community is also nice (or a jerk) and for me, that’s about 45,000 others I’d be representing. Wow!
Advancing with this thought process, if I’m traveling around the country and someone asks me “Where Ya From?” and I respond with “Michigan” INSTANTLY I’m representing over 10 MILLION OTHERS with everything I say and do during my interaction with that person, especially if I’m the first person they’ve ever met from Michigan. I hope by now you’re beginning to see where this is leading. Whenever we engage with another person, or group of people, we’re representing many more people than just ourselves.
Let’s go deeper. Are you a member of a particular race or ethnicity, a faith-based religion or organization, an athletic team, a club of some sort, a neighborhood, or a group sharing a love of the arts and music? Do you work for a company, attend a school, or belong to a political party? Do you own a pet, consider yourself part of the green movement, drive an EV, love puzzles, board games, or card games? Do you like to hunt, fish, hike, camp, kayak, SUP, or travel internationally? Are you a computer geek, roller-coaster freak, history buff, or lover of mysteries? Are you an engineer, accomplished musician, member of clergy, director of a non-profit, entrepreneur, or teacher? What group would your clothes, hairstyle, tattoos, or piercings suggest you belong to? Your answers place you into one or more distinct groups. And when you speak about, or are engaged in, any of these, be it by conversation or by participation, YOU are representing every other person that also considers themselves part of that group.
Like it or not, it’s how the world works. It’s assumed that whatever groups you belong to have a huge influence on who you are, what you say, and how you act. That’s how you get associated with a group representation at any given moment you’re engaged in which really gives new meaning to answering the question “Where Ya From?”
France. My only engagement with an individual born and raised in France has been with a Rotary Youth Exchange student who spent her senior year in high school here in the states. She came off as being kind, considerate, friendly, and full of enthusiasm for life. While I only had a couple of conversations with her, every week she reported to our club all of the updates of what she was experiencing at school and in life while she was here in the U.S.. When I inquired with our own children what she was like at school, they pretty much supported all the conclusions I had come to. This naturally led us to believe that ALL people in France are similar to her, meaning the next person I meet from France has an automatic “thumbs-up” as a kind, considerate, friendly individual who is full of enthusiasm for life ... all because of my experience with an exchange student. So why is it that I keep reading and hearing that the people of France aren’t particularly enamored with us Americans? After World War II, they loved us. All I can conclude is that some American citizens were in recent years over in France, representing the more than 330,000,000 rest of us, acting in a way that was viewed poorly. Of course, they didn’t realize at the time they were representing all of the rest of us and may not have cared even if they did. But it’s something the 99% of Americans who are outstanding have to live with. Turns out one bad apple CAN spoil the whole bunch. At the same time, one GOOD apple can lead to the belief that the whole bunch are also good. Each of us can help change the way the French view us using the right mindset.
For most of us right now, Vladimir Putin represents every Russian. If we were in another part of the world and met someone from Russia, what would be our initial reaction? Is that fair? I would be willing to bet that the number of nice, kind, and loving people living in Russia right now is a really high percentage. I’m thinking they’re more concerned with putting food on the table and supporting their loved ones vs. the current war. Unfortunately, our view gets skewed by Putin. For most of us right now, Volodymyr Zelenskyy represents every other person in Ukraine. Because we love all of his character traits that we’ve been exposed to, we naturally love and want to help the entire population of Ukraine. All because of one person.
So, I’m asking you to think deeply here for a moment. Here’s a lesson you can immediately use to improve your life.
If someone asked “Where Ya From?” what would you change in what you say and do if you constantly had the mindset that all of it gets tied back to others … many others … and not just yourself, including people you care about and people who believe in who you are and what your character represents?
Would you be kinder, more considerate of others, more friendly, and share the uniqueness of who you are with passion and enthusiasm? Would you be a better listener and more open-minded? The answer can be YES! And all it takes is practice.
Whenever you’re engaged with others, consider what group THEY are associating you with. Whether your family, co-workers, club or group you’re active in, community, state, and even country. Represent that group to the best of your ability and society’s nature will take care of the rest. Have fun discussing this thought process with others. Remember, I Believe in You! Send me an email (coach@theanswerdiscovery.com) and let me know “Where Ya From?”
Now, GiddyUp!
In addition to being a nationally syndicated columnist, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.