Always be the last to leave
This week’s syndicated column “Always be the last to leave” is published in the following Michigan and Illinois newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News, The Edwardsville Intelligencer, Huron Daily Tribune, Jacksonville Journal-Courier, Manistee News Advocate, and Big Rapids Pioneer. The article focuses on my "always be the last to leave" strategy, personal experiences, and valuable life lessons for building successful relationships in life and the workplace. Read the full article below.
When was the last time you utilized the word "linger" in a conversation? Amazingly, I’ve used lingering as one of my most powerful tools for positive relationship building. It’s a life tool system that I freely share with others. Lingering is a strategy that can garner the greatest Return On Investment when compared to all of the other traditional strategies people employ to get ahead in both their work, personal, and social life.
Throughout my 20s, I attempted to disprove the old saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” by out-working, out-studying and out-thinking others in the pursuit of success. While reading books and articles certainly helped in propelling me forward, it was finding people that were already enjoying great success, and asking them how they got there, that turbo-charged my pursuit. Through time, I began to rely on a near-perfect opening to a conversation with someone I felt could educate me with their wisdom. Beginning with something specific that I admired about them, I would ask, “If there was one thing that you could contribute all of your success in life to, what would that be?” It was always the beginning of what would turn out to be a valuable relationship in my life.
The responses to that question became a gold mine. While the responses completely varied, they revealed many hidden similarities that became more evident as time went by. Some sample responses that would begin with “I owe all of my success to ____” were: “my ability to effectively communicate which Toastmasters helped me to perfect,” “my mother, who inspired me during everything I attempted” and “anytime something was presented, I could accurately envision the future value it could have to the company.” The responses always had me asking follow-up questions that would explain specifically “how” it had contributed to their success and “why” they felt it was the “one thing.”
Just as important was the deepening of the personal relationships that these conversations supported. In my attempt to disprove “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” everything I was experiencing proved that it was indeed true. By the time I was 35, I realized that everything I am, and all of my success, I owe to others due to the life lessons and strategies they were willing to share with me. With heartfelt gratitude, I still attempt to personally thank every individual that has had a positive impact on my life.
Over the years, my deepest relationships have been formed because of the total flexibility I’ve built into my daily scheduling. I never scheduled an appointment or call right after a Rotary meeting, nonprofit board meeting, church, seminar, lunch meeting, Chamber event, kids event, graduation party and scout meeting. I always built-in time to linger. Granted, this had some people attempting to avoid walking by me at the end of a meeting, knowing I might attempt to engage with them. I am never offended by this and accept that some people are most comfortable scheduling themselves, so every minute of every day is hyper-utilized. When I tried that, all it did was heap on a boatload of stress which I needed as much as an open flame in a fireworks factory. Kaboom! Fact is, intentional lingering reduced stress and provided an enormous feeling of well-being.
Some other lessons learned as I was perfecting my “always be the last to leave” strategy included:
1. Be approachable. Maintain a smile and welcoming look on your face and refrain from folding your arms in front of you (that’s a defensive posture, not a welcoming one).
2. After your initial greeting, share something you admire about the person you’re engaging with. It really helps to connect with them.
3. Ask questions regarding the success the other person has exhibited (especially the near-perfect question described above).
4. Never allow an incoming phone call to you to interrupt the flow of conversation. At the same time, be respectful enough to allow the other person to answer their phone if they receive a call and feel they want to.
5. If you absolutely have to look at your watch or a clock, only do so when you are talking, never when the other person is speaking.
These five lessons can provide you a great start on your way to learning valuable life lessons for success through relationships.
One could surmise that it would be foolish on your part not to give this “always be the last to leave” strategy a fair attempt, especially when it offers such an incredible Return On Investment to your life. I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I sure hope I’ve fired up the inspirational genes you possess enough for you to take action and give this strategy a try. Maybe you’ll be more motivated if I challenge you to “prove me wrong.” If that’s what floats your boat, then make the attempt (it’ll be futile). And hey…I believe in you! That’s precisely why I wrote this column! It’s time to GiddyUp!
In addition to being a syndicated columnist in the midwest, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.