Define Perfect

This week’s syndicated column “Define Perfect” is published in the following Michigan and Illinois newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News, The Edwardsville Intelligencer, Huron Daily Tribune, Jacksonville Journal-Courier, Manistee News Advocate, and Big Rapids Pioneer. The article focuses on how we, as humans, define perfect based on unrealist expectations and how we should shift our focus to devoting all our efforts in a positive direction. Read the full article below.

Try to define perfect. It’s tough for most of us. Why? Because we attempt to define it based on unrealistic expectations or unattainable achievement. And why do we spend the majority of our time acquiring reasons that something isn’t perfect rather than devoting all of our efforts in a positive direction? Probably because we’re human and most conversations we have with ourselves tend to focus on the negative, the low-hanging fruit, the easy conclusion and what we’ve learned to think of as obvious as to why something can’t be classified as perfect.

But learned wisdom would suggest that perfection does exist when it allows imperfection to be the basis of why an experience is totally perfect. Confused? No need to be. Let’s utilize a “vacation” as an example.

First, in that wonderful mind of yours, create a vacation that is perfect. Complete every aspect of a perfect vacation without anything going wrong. You know, no vehicles on the road on the way to the airport where you show up 10 minutes prior to boarding the plane. All luggage checked for free. No TSA line to go through. As you board and sit in your first-class seat with the seat next to you empty, you’re immediately handed a piña colada with a little umbrella piercing a slice of fresh pineapple floating on the top. As you deplane, you’re told your luggage is on its way to the luxury resort you’ll be staying at and that if you’ll go to the nearest exit there’s a limousine waiting to whisk you away to the seaside palace. How am I doing so far?

Doesn’t it seem strange that a person you might imagine actually living like that doesn’t have a smile on their face at any point in time during that description? Could it be that because everything is perfect, there’s nothing to hope for? Seems like joy can only be had if we have things to hope for. Hopelessness never equates to happiness. And whether or not the things we actually hope for come true, it’s all part of the story of our experience that creates the memory, that brings us joy (at least when we can share our story with others).

Now imagine you’re seated on a plane that’s just about to close the door to prepare for take-off. You’re seated in the last row, and you can hear a voice near the front shouting “Don’t close that door yet. I’m here.” A disheveled, out of breath woman comes bursting onto the plane with two large carry-ons (all of the overhead bins are full and had just been closed). You look at her face, flush from running through the airport, and see she’s smiling so wide she could eat a banana sideways. After the steward helps her find a place to stick her carry-ons, she plops down in the only seat left, which is right next to you. You smile as she begins to tell you her “vacation story so far.” A traffic accident on the way to the airport burned a half hour of time she hadn’t planned on. She couldn’t find an open parking space in the long-term lot. When she went to check her luggage, the line was moving at a speed that most snails might call slow, and some blockhead held up the TSA line for over 15 minutes for refusing to remove his flip-flops. And of all things, the whole time she’s sharing all of this, she appears happy as a clam that her story of mishaps just keeps getting better. She whines about the price (while smiling) as she orders a $12 piña colada (back of the plane has to pay, right?) and tells you with her luck, she wouldn’t be surprised if an air bag doesn’t accidently go off when the plane lands.

During the flight, she tells you about the rental car reservation fiasco and how much she’s saving on the hotel room she booked, only a five block walk to the beach, that discounted her room because the A/C doesn’t work and the outdoor pool is closed for repairs during her stay. She says she likes excitement, which is why she watched the movie “Jaws” twice yesterday before flying to the seaside town you’re both headed for.

As you reach the destination, she jumps up, wishes you your best vacation ever as the plane begins to disembark, and walks towards the exit wishing everyone a good day. It’s then you realize that she literally has been smiling and happy since she first boarded the plane. Then it hits you that she has mastered allowing all the imperfections to add up to a perfect experience, at least by the way she defines perfect. So that means that it’s possible for something to contain many imperfections on the path to perfect. So, if we embrace defining perfect because of the imperfections, we never lose hope that the final outcome can be perfect. I like that thought process.

If living a perfect life is defined by consistently stringing perfect days together, our focus becomes defining what we believe a perfect day looks like. Why couldn’t a perfect day be defined by how we chose to handle each experience that occurred in our life that day? If we gave it our all, and did the very best we are capable of, that means we were on the field and in the game, not sitting on the bench or in the stands watching others develop a perfect day. Each day we suit up and enter the game of life. Some days we win, some days we lose. It’s the fact that we had the chance to play and embraced that chance for all it had to offer that made it perfect. If we can master that, then the true-life goal is to create the longest streak of perfect days possible, realizing that if we have an off-day we simply start a new streak and make it longer than the previous.

In addition to being a syndicated columnist in the midwest, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.