Are you a fountain or a drain?
This week’s syndicated column “Are you a fountain or a drain?” is published in the following Michigan and Illinois newspapers and digital publications: Midland Daily News, The Edwardsville Intelligencer, Huron Daily Tribune, Jacksonville Journal-Courier, Manistee News Advocate, and Big Rapids Pioneer. The readers of this article will be faced with a challenge — to answer the following questions honestly:
Are you a fountain (giver), or are you a drain (taker)?
Which would you rather be?
Dive deep into the thought process, and I promise you will experience more consistent joy in your life!
Are you a fountain or a drain? It’s a legitimate question. The answer can reveal so much about how you perceive yourself and how you think other people perceive you (whether it's accurate or not).
At a disability conference I attended a few years ago, the speaker asked us to take 10 people we knew really well, and label each of them as either a fountain or a drain. No other label could be utilized, only fountain or drain. We had to list their names and place either an F or a D next to them. We weren’t allowed to think that sometimes they were one and sometimes the other. It was a fountain label or a drain label that we had to commit to in describing these 10 people we believed we knew well. What an amazing process this exercise was!
The first step was we had to define what a fountain person looked like. We came up with descriptions that included a positive thinker, a person who makes the best of every situation, someone who can make lemonade from lemons, someone who loves helping other people more than themselves, a person that is naturally kind and compassionate, a great listener, someone who volunteers and someone who mentors others. If forced to use one or two words to describe a fountain, we all agreed it would first be the word "joy" and another would be "giver."
The second step was we had to define what drain person looked like. We came up with descriptions that included lots of negativity, a person who always focused on what was wrong or how they’d been wronged, someone who was envious and jealous of others, someone who felt bad things always and only happened to them, someone who wanted to be listened to but was a poor listener themselves, a person that might be a hypochondriac, a person who delighted in others' misfortune, someone who’s spiteful and someone who is selfish. If forced to use one or two words to describe a drain, we all agreed it would be the word "drama," closely followed by "taker."
The third step was to acknowledge that judging others is wrong, and that this exercise wasn’t designed to provide an excuse to judge others; it was designed to help us understand the impact people close to us have on our life and the way we think.
Now, back to completing the requested task (fourth step). We had to take everything we knew about those 10 people and boil it down to either labeling them a fountain or labeling them a drain. A fountain that is constantly spewing forth joy, or a drain sucking the life out of us and sending us down the sewer. For most of us, our 10 included family members, friends and co-workers. As a group we learned many lessons from the exercise that day. We learned it’s rare that our conscious mind acknowledges the generalizations our subconscious mind concludes about others. We just carry on without analyzing too deeply. We learned that many people we know well are forced on us (family and co-workers), and some we intentionally choose (friends). We all acknowledged that the 10 we each chose represented our personal peer group and began to realize the impact each of them had on our lives and the way we choose to live our life each day.
By the end of our group discussions and interaction (fifth step), we realized that fountains attract other fountains, and drains attract other drains. Social media naturally supports this theory of attraction. Whether you post joy or drama, you’ll attract lots of likes and supportive comments for whatever you’re projecting.
The sixth and final step of the exercise was by far the hardest. We were required to answer the question: Are you a fountain or a drain? This is a deeply personal subject when you only have the two choices, and you can’t use the combination of the two. It may be close, but one of the two best reflects the summation of who you are. So, are you a fountain spewing joy or a drain taking drama down to the sewer?
Sensing our discomfort, the speaker at the conference told us she had a better question for us to ask ourselves: Which would you rather be? At this point our emotions were strongly coming into play and we all wanted to be fountains regardless of what our answer to the original question may have been. This is one of the benefits of working in groups where you’re able to build consensus from many different perspectives. I love that.
The remainder of the time with this speaker was spent discussing all the different ways we could develop routines and habits that supported consistently being a fountain each day with every interaction we experienced.
Here’s my challenge to you. Honestly answer the question: Are you a fountain (giver), or a drain (taker)? Think deeply about it before answering. Then be honest and ask yourself: Which would you rather be? If you decide you’d like to spew joy each day of your life, take some alone time (you’re worth it) and think about the small and minor changes that would need to take place for you to be labeled a fountain by all the people you know and encounter each day. Why should you do this? Because it’s the surest way to live a wonderful life. So GiddyUp! And remember, I believe in you!
In addition to being a syndicated columnist in the midwest, Paul White is an author, motivational and inspirational speaker, entrepreneur, podcaster, and life coach located in Midland, Michigan. He offers self-help and culture development to start your journey towards consistent growth and joy. If you’re interested in getting in touch with Paul, please submit an inquiry via our Contact Page.